1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,738 [radio plays "A foggy day In old london town"] 2 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,353 See, every time I hear "Foggy day in old London town", 3 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:20,788 I think of my wife. 4 00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:24,125 Aww. Was that Your song, coach? 5 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,194 No, but sinatra Sang that, sam, 6 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:29,197 And it always reminds me Of that movie, 7 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,531 "From here to eternity." 8 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,533 Aw, you took her To see that 9 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,202 On your first date, Huh, coach? 10 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,704 No. That movie Reminds me of hawaii. 11 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:40,074 Oh. You and your Wife met in hawaii? 12 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:43,077 No. I've never been To hawaii, diane. 13 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:45,513 Neither has Wally engels. 14 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,081 I'll take it. 15 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:49,717 Uh, coach, who's Wally engels? 16 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,385 An old pal of mine In the navy. 17 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:52,853 He introduced me To my wife. 18 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,456 Oh. Oh. Oh. 19 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,691 Boy, that's some memory You got there, coach. 20 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,861 Yeah, huh, sam. 21 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,832 [radio plays "Moon river"] 22 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,438 Ah, that song brings back Some great memories for me. 23 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,573 Oh, yeah, really? What? 24 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:15,209 They were playing it The day my daughter Got married. 25 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:17,778 Yeah? 26 00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:21,215 That's all. 27 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:26,720 We sure get 'em In here, don't we, sam? 28 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:35,129 * making your way In the world today * 29 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:37,765 * takes everything You've got * 30 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,601 * taking a break From all your worries * 31 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:44,272 * sure would help a lot 32 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:47,208 * wouldn't you like To get away? * 33 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,779 * sometimes You wanna go * 34 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:55,383 * where everybody Knows your name * 35 00:01:57,485 --> 00:02:01,455 * and they're always glad You came * 36 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:04,158 * you wanna be Where you can see * 37 00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:07,161 * our troubles Are all the same * 38 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:12,166 * you wanna be where Everybody knows your name * 39 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,702 * you wanna go Where people know * 40 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,471 * people are all the same 41 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:21,742 * you wanna go where Everybody knows your name * 42 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,230 Hello, sam. 43 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,964 Hey, becky. 44 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,834 Boy, long time, No see, huh? 45 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,503 Yeah, I finally got Transferred back to boston. 46 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:52,506 I really missed this city And a lot of its landmarks. 47 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:55,676 Speaking of which, When do you get off? 48 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,279 Oh, I don't get off Anymore, becky. 49 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:04,685 What--what I meant By that was, 50 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,820 Diane and I are Going together here. 51 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,556 Who? 52 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,358 Oh, I'm sorry. Diane chambers, This is becky hawley. 53 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,525 Hi, becky. 54 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,526 Hi, diane. 55 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,529 Diane and I have been Going together now, what, 56 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,997 9, 10 months? 57 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,666 Four. 58 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,235 Eh, whatever. 59 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:25,005 I'm really glad To see you have such A nice thing going, sam. 60 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,408 Although I must say, 61 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,877 I will miss the fun That we used to have. 62 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,713 Well, I've got something A lot better than fun now. 63 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:35,483 I got good, Solid pleasantness. 64 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,019 You're a real rush Yourself. 65 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,388 Yeah. 66 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,955 Oh, I didn't mean To upset anyone. 67 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,557 Oh, becky, You didn't. 68 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,526 I've come to terms With sam's past. 69 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,428 It doesn't Bother me a bit. 70 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,297 Besides, I'm not The jealous type. 71 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,399 Well, sam, I guess I'll be seeing you. 72 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,700 Yeah, good to See you again. 73 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,902 You, too. 74 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:58,672 Hey, why don't You let me walk you To your car, all right? 75 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:04,345 On second thought, Maybe I'll just stand 76 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,581 Behind the bar here For a while. 77 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:08,749 I liked her. 78 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,384 Yeah, I'll bet. 79 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,354 Ohh. 80 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,758 Have an accident, Sammy, 81 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,427 Or are you just Glad to see me? 82 00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,430 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 83 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:23,864 Both, coach. 84 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,766 Two cutty rocks, Sam. 85 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,735 Norm is late Again today. 86 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,770 Yeah, I noticed. 87 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,939 It's eating Into my beer profits. 88 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,774 I'm gonna have to raise The price of a draft here 89 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:34,942 Just to get even. 90 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,778 That'll be $11 there, cliff. 91 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:41,449 You know, he hasn't Been in before 5:00 All week. 92 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,785 You don't suppose norm's Finally gotten himself A job, do you? 93 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,787 Nah, nah. If norm Had gotten a job, 94 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,889 He would have told us All about it. 95 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,659 Gee, I hope he didn't Tell me and I forgot. 96 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,795 Nah, I'd remember forgetting Something that big. 97 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,466 No, I think cliff's right. If norm got a job, 98 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,568 He would've made A big deal about it. 99 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,336 You know... 100 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:05,105 Yesterday I saw something Very disturbing. 101 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,908 The price of peroxide Went up? 102 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,511 I was born A blonde. 103 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,114 What were you saying? 104 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,817 Well, on My way here, 105 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,987 I saw a fellow who Looked very much Like norman 106 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,824 Sneaking in The back door of Melville's kitchen. 107 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:26,527 Now, he looked so Much like norman, I said hi to him, 108 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,530 But he pulled his Coat over his face And ran inside. 109 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,733 What would norm be doing In melville's kitchen? 110 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,536 I think norman's Been reduced To taking a job 111 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,871 As a bus boy Or a dishwasher. 112 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:41,008 No, no. Norm would Never stoop to Something like that. 113 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:45,012 He probably just went in To beg for table scraps, That's all. 114 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,680 Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 115 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,148 I just thought of something. 116 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,384 Oh, I thought I heard a clank. 117 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,388 No, about a week ago, 118 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:57,691 Norm asked me if a real man Would wash dishes. 119 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,527 Oh, norm. 120 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,495 I don't believe it. 121 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,997 It's impossible to Escape the conclusion. 122 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,633 I found a way. 123 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,404 Now, look. I'm not gonna Believe that my buddy, 124 00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:11,905 A professional man Like myself, 125 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:14,408 Has been reduced to Scrubbing pots and pans In a fish house. 126 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,710 I mean, if he had, There'd be telltale signs-- 127 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:19,179 You know, he'd come in Reeking like a mackerel. 128 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,848 Get outta here! 129 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,883 Go on, beat it! Scram! Outta here! 130 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,652 [cats meowing] 131 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,657 Beat it! Get out of here! 132 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,564 [meowing] 133 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,998 Go on, Get out of here! 134 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,069 Well, that proves it. 135 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,071 He's either washing Dishes at melville's, 136 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,907 Or he's driving a herd Of cats to dodge city. 137 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,909 No, sam, you need At least 200 head 138 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,579 For that drive to dodge. 139 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,080 Afternoon, everybody. 140 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,582 Norm! Norm! Norm! 141 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,083 Cam I draw you A beer, norm? 142 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,585 No, I know what They look like. 143 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,587 Just pour me one. 144 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,923 Hey, norm, What's with All the cats? 145 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,758 What? Animals like me. 146 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,760 Good, 'cause no Human is gonna. 147 00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:07,928 Aww. 148 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,097 Whew. Norm... 149 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:13,601 You smell like low tide In bridgeport. 150 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,470 Must've been that Tuna sandwich I ate. 151 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,640 Oh. What'd you do, Eat it or roll in it? 152 00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:23,477 Hey, norm, everything ok? Any luck finding a job? 153 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:24,612 Let's just Drop it, huh? 154 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:25,779 Ok. 155 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,248 Oh, here, normie. Need a napkin there. 156 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,784 Gee, normie, Look at your hands. 157 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,620 They're all red and rough And wrinkled. 158 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,622 Yeah, so's Your brain, ok? 159 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,624 Normie, come on. 160 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,125 I'm sorry, coach. 161 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:39,493 It's ok, norm. 162 00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:40,961 Everybody, look, I'm sorry. 163 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,863 I might as well Come clean here. 164 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,064 Please! Please! Please! 165 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,636 I'm washing dishes Up at melville's, ok? 166 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,638 The unemployment Ran out. 167 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,272 I had to do something. 168 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,807 Here, give me your hands. 169 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,509 This will cut the smell. 170 00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:59,513 Oh, norman, you must be Hopelessly depressed. 171 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:02,650 Last night I went home So depressed 172 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,985 I almost Jumped out my window. 173 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:09,289 So many cats down there, They would have Broken the fall. 174 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,992 That, uh-- Those guys out there 175 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,661 Is only A scouting party. 176 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,796 Go on, Get out of here! 177 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,998 Raaaah! 178 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,300 Norman... 179 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,703 There's dignity In any work. 180 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,872 Now, don't be ashamed Of physical labor. 181 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:28,008 Oh, no, diane. I know exactly How normie feels. 182 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,711 When I was a youngster, I was a bus boy. 183 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,546 And I'm telling you, The humiliation, 184 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,014 The getting Ordered around, 185 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,683 It's more than A man can take. 186 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,150 Hey, get a beer over here, Huh, grandpa? 187 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,853 Yes, sir. Right away. 188 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,055 A dishwasher. 189 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,858 I guess I've sunk About as low as an Accountant can sink. 190 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,861 I graduated 30th In my class. 191 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,162 Now I spend My afternoons 192 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,865 Watching Lettuce float. 193 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,867 Norman, I've got it. 194 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,202 You're an accountant. 195 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,904 You should be accounting. 196 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,039 Sam, why don't you put norman On as your accountant? 197 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,340 Yeah. Yeah, sam. 198 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,209 Oh, that would Be fabulous. 199 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,211 I already Have an accountant. 200 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,879 Well, fire him And hire norman. 201 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,581 That's how it works. 202 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,883 Can I speak to you Over here for a minute? 203 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,752 Certainly. Certainly. 204 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,220 What's the matter, sammy? Don't you think it's A good idea? 205 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,188 Oh, no, you bet. You bet. I just want to tell her In private 206 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,057 How much I like it. 207 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,726 Ohh. Looks like Ms. Chambers 208 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,061 Is going to get A buss on the cheek. 209 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,697 Let's hope it's going At least 80. 210 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,370 No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. 211 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,606 There are two areas Of my life 212 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,608 That I don't want Anyone to touch. 213 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,376 Now, I've already told You about one of them. 214 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,911 And I didn't. 215 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,614 No, I know. You've been Very good about that. 216 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:42,616 The other area Is my business. 217 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,618 Now, I worked very hard To get this bar, 218 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,086 And it's been a struggle To keep it. 219 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,621 Now you've got me Committed 220 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,923 To turning my books over To a dishwasher. 221 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,960 He's not a dishwasher. 222 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,095 He's an accountant, And he's a friend. 223 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,797 Yeah, you're right He's my friend, 224 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,265 But how do I know He's a good accountant? 225 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,267 I mean, he hasn't been Hired for over a year. 226 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,135 There must be Some reason. 227 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:05,973 Well, that just means He's highly motivated To do a good job. 228 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,775 Besides, you only have to Keep him on long enough 229 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,977 To help him Get his pride back. 230 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,279 Sammy, I don't Want to put you On the spot here. 231 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,281 I don't have to be Your accountant. 232 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,650 I could always Just kill myself. 233 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:19,252 Yeah, yeah. This man has Options here, sam. 234 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:22,122 Sam, now, it's true, 235 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,125 Hiring norman Has emotional overtones, 236 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,661 But without emotions, 237 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,797 The mind becomes A stagnant pond. 238 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,165 And let's fact it, In your case, 239 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,435 We're not exactly dealing With whitewater rapids In the first place. 240 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,972 Ok, all right, fine. 241 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,008 I'll put norm on, But just--hey-- 242 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,310 Just remember When I have to Fire him later on, 243 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,978 You're gonna be Responsible for him 244 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,014 Losing what's left Of his self-respect. 245 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:49,817 How can he miss with such A positive attitude? 246 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,819 Norm... 247 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,821 Hey, you're My new accountant. 248 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,155 Hey! All right? 249 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,157 Sammy, I am honored. 250 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,458 Well, yeah. 251 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,160 I want You to know 252 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,329 This is one of The great moments Of my life, sammy. 253 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,331 Aw, come on. Give me a break. One of your greatest moments? 254 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,333 Easy, sam. There have Only been two. 255 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,335 I'm aware you're doing This out of pity, sam, 256 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,870 But I want you To know 257 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,338 You just you got The best damn Accountant around. 258 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,472 Yeah, I'll second that. 259 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,175 What, that he just Got the best damn Accountant around? 260 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:18,478 No, that he's doing it Out of pity. 261 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,947 [indistinct] 262 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,886 Whoa, here he is, Ladies and gentlemen-- 263 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:29,189 Norm "Render unto caesar That which is zilch" peterson! 264 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,192 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 265 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,194 Diane, a little More coffee, please. 266 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,328 Oh, norman, I'm proud of you. 267 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,064 Yeah. 268 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,366 When there's a job to be done, You put the beer aside. 269 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:42,202 That's 'cause I want To do a good job For sammy there. 270 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,336 Isn't that nice? Yeah. 271 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,372 Isn't that nice, sam? 272 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,507 How's it-- How's it going, norm? 273 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,209 Almost done, sam. 274 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,044 You're not gonna be Disappointed, big buy. 275 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,046 I found a couple things In there, you know. 276 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,048 You're gonna have The best damn tax return 277 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,050 That's ever Been audited. 278 00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,820 Oh, lighten up, will ya? It's a tax joke. Come on. 279 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,757 Boy, sam, you know, There's a bounce In normie's step 280 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,225 I haven't seen In months. 281 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:06,894 Tonight may be The turning point 282 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,395 In that man's life. 283 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,397 He might come out Of that office, His job complete-- 284 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,399 Who knows, maybe even Make amends with vera-- 285 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,901 And start building A new life. 286 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,936 Oh, that would Be wonderful. 287 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,537 Then again, he might Drink till he passes out 288 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,539 With his head In the toilet. 289 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,242 Too close to call, Really. 290 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:25,545 I just hope he's not Trying too hard To impress me. 291 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,948 Well, what if he is? 292 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,951 You're helping him out, And he appreciates that. 293 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,954 I just don't like Taking chances With the irs. 294 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,256 I was very satisfied With my old accountant. 295 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,959 Every year I'd pay Two, three grand in taxes, 296 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,261 I'd pay them, And there'd be no trouble. 297 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,564 That's what I want from norm-- No chances, no risks. 298 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,566 Aw, sam, you just Worry too much. 299 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,101 Normie's a great Accountant. 300 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,803 How do you Know that, coach? 301 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,104 Because my mother Always used to say 302 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,273 Everybody has one thing They're great at. 303 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,808 Yeah, right, And with norm, 304 00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:55,943 We've eliminated Everything 305 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,411 But accountant and Great white hunter. 306 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,413 Here we go, sam. 307 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,115 All done. 308 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,450 How did it come out, norm. 309 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,118 I'll let my return Speak for itself. 310 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:09,356 I'm getting back $15,000? 311 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,225 We make camp here, bwana? 312 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,308 Of course Babies can eat pizza. 313 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,343 Just put it In the blender. 314 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,982 Excuse me, do you Have a cigarette Machine in the back? 315 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,183 Back room. 316 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,851 Thank you, beautiful. 317 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:38,986 What did you Call me? 318 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,021 Beautiful. 319 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,857 Sounded different The first time. 320 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:44,992 Beautiful. 321 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,459 That was the word. 322 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,864 Good afternoon, everybody. 323 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:51,999 Norm! Norm! Norm! 324 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,166 Norman. 325 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,334 How about a beer, norm? 326 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,203 Eh, I'm high On life, coach. 327 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,437 Of course, Beer is my life. 328 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,208 Hey, there's My boss man. 329 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,509 How's it going, Buddy? 330 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,044 Pretty good. Just waiting for that 331 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,246 Great big tax refund To come rolling in. 332 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,548 You figure out what You're gonna do with All that loot yet, pal? 333 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,051 Well, I think that Some of it should go 334 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,520 For something sheer, sexy, 335 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:16,056 And, yes, A little breathtaking 336 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,892 For the special someone In his life. 337 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,393 I think you're right. 338 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,063 What are you, An extra-large, norm? 339 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,564 In peignoirs, yes, 340 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,233 But I can squeeze Into a large teddy. 341 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,534 Ooh. Heh heh heh! 342 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,902 Wait, wait, wait. 343 00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,904 You gotta check These out here. 344 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,205 Ooh! 345 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:33,907 Aw, hey, lookie there. 346 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,242 Printed matches! 347 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,409 Just spread Them around. 348 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,911 "Norm peterson, Incorporated-- 349 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,246 An accountancy firm." 350 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,548 Oh, that's very Impressive, norm. 351 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,051 Business must be good, Huh, normie? 352 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,418 Yeah, coach. 353 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,420 It just took sammy Here having Faith in me, 354 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,422 And my getting A little faith In myself, 355 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,557 And stuff sort of Took off. 356 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,259 Bingo! 357 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,962 How many new clients Do you have now Besides sam? 358 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,264 Just one other, But I've been Hustling a little bit, 359 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,398 And I got some Nibbles on here. 360 00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,400 Which reminds me. Diane! Yeah? 361 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,102 Here's your return. 362 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,105 Oh, thank you. 363 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,474 Ooh, a nice, Healthy refund. 364 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,276 I thought You'd like that. 365 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,578 All those Psychiatrists' fees Were deductible, diane. 366 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,114 Boy, those daily sessions Back in february, 367 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,383 Whoo, we're talking A gold mine here. 368 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,388 Shut up, norman. I'm better. I'm better. 369 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,959 Sam... 370 00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:28,962 February was Kind of a rough Month, wasn't it? 371 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,998 Ok. Ha ha! 372 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:34,301 Sam, what you've Done for norman Is a miracle. 373 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,602 I'm very proud. 374 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,304 It was nothing. 375 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,972 No, don't be modest. 376 00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,974 You stood by him When he needed you. 377 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,443 When he told you you were Getting $15,000 back, 378 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,478 Even I blanched. 379 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,314 And money means No more to me 380 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,316 Than it does to The creatures in the forest 381 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,018 Or the beasts in the field. 382 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,987 Ooh, sammy, Give me a hand here With this stuff. 383 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,488 [telephone rings] 384 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:56,756 Coach, could you Get that? Yeah. 385 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,625 [ring] 386 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,327 Cheers. 387 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,661 Sam, it's for you. 388 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,330 I'm busy, coach. Can you take a message? 389 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,132 Can I take a message? He's busy. 390 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,299 Uh-huh. 391 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,001 Yeah. Right. 392 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,636 Right, right, right. 393 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,638 Sam, that was Your accountant, sy. 394 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:15,142 He said-- Oh, bell day! Bell day! 395 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,576 [inaudible] 396 00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,482 And he said your Tax returns are ready. 397 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,684 [clank] 398 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,187 What the hell's Going on here, sam? 399 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:30,190 What do you mean, About bell day? 400 00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:32,759 Did you send in The return I prepared For you or not? 401 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,629 No, norm. I--I didn't. 402 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,700 Why not? 403 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,203 Well, I probably Should have told you this, 404 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,039 But I'm--I'm real conservative When it comes to money. 405 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,375 Ok, let me just get This straight here. 406 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,677 You don't trust me And my work, 407 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,213 So you had somebody Else do your taxes. 408 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:57,084 It's just--a $15,000 refund Scared the hell out of me. 409 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,686 I mean, I've never Gotten any kind of Refund before at all. 410 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,221 You know why? That accountant 411 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,555 You had Is a wimp, sam. 412 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,557 I went through Those previous returns. 413 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,626 The guy wouldn't Know a deduction If he sat on it! 414 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,228 What are you trying To say, sammy, 415 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,363 That norm pulled A $15,000 boner? 416 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,065 Yeah. 417 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,401 Come on. I was just trying To protect myself. 418 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,503 Any one of you would've Done the same thing, right? 419 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:21,508 Oh, come on. You would, Too, and you know it. 420 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,446 Ok, let's just-- Let's just drop this, All right? 421 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,449 I didn't want norm to Do my taxes in the First place, remember? 422 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,419 It just goes to show you Shouldn't do business With your friends. 423 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,087 Then you're safe Going into business 424 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,555 With anybody In this room. 425 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,224 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 426 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,558 Oh, come on now. 427 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:41,261 Isn't anybody On my side here? 428 00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:44,264 Listen, all I wanted To do was try to Protect my business 429 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,600 And not offend norm In the first place. 430 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,769 Sam, I'm standing by you. 431 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:52,105 I may not agree with you, But I admire your courage. 432 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:53,406 I know exactly How you feel. 433 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,108 Wait, you do? 434 00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:57,110 Yes. I've had Personal experience 435 00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,112 Standing Against the majority, 436 00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:01,114 Resisting the force Of public opinion 437 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,616 For the sake Of personal principle. 438 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,618 Is that right? Like what? What? 439 00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:08,588 Well, my senior year, I fought single-handedly 440 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,290 To integrate my sorority. 441 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:11,624 Hey, you hear this? 442 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:14,127 What, they wouldn't Let blacks in? 443 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:16,129 Well, it wasn't Exactly blacks. 444 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,764 That's really Not the point. The point is-- 445 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,133 What was it, Just some other race? 446 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,768 Well, no. 447 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,636 A religion? 448 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,605 Well, it wasn't Exactly a religion. 449 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,607 Well, come on. Who? Who? 450 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,809 [mumbling] 451 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:33,180 What? Who wouldn't They let in? 452 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,749 Girls with Poorly publicized Coming-out parties. 453 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:45,325 And within A couple of months, They blended right in. 454 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,826 All right, Thank you. 455 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,328 I mean, if you don't Trust me as an accountant, 456 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:49,796 You don't trust me As a friend. 457 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,498 Come on, Stop right there. 458 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:52,799 Listen, you've got To learn to separate 459 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,334 Business From friendship. 460 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,336 No, no. The only thing I have to separate 461 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:57,837 Is you from my life. 462 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,507 Hey, come on. Listen, if I get Into trouble at the irs, 463 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,375 I could go to jail. 464 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:06,179 And you know what Happens to pretty boys When they go to jail. 465 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:09,182 You know, your-- Your attitude Is unprofessional. 466 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:10,817 Oh, now I'm unprofessional. Is that it? 467 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,185 Yeah. 468 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:13,520 You know what you are? 469 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,355 Listen, guys. Don't say anything You'll regret. 470 00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:16,689 You're a back-stabber. 471 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,325 You know something? You are a big baby, Norman. 472 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,492 Hair hat! 473 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:20,660 Ham hock! 474 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:23,363 Goose neck! This is fun. 475 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,665 We are not the ones Fighting here, 476 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,367 Spaghetti breath. 477 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,369 You're bad, malone. B-a-d, you're bad. 478 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,371 You're starting To get on my nerves. You know that? 479 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,872 The truth hurts, Huh, malone? 480 00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,375 Oh, my god! Would the two of you Listen to yourselves? 481 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:38,378 Standing there arguing, Bickering? 482 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:41,648 You're making a mockery Out of bell day! 483 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,389 Sammy, sammy, sammy. 484 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,524 I've just been through The roughest year Of my life. 485 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,859 I know that. 486 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,394 The only thing That kept me going 487 00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,895 Was a belief in myself 488 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,564 And the hope that someday Somebody else would say, 489 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,865 "I believe in you, Too, norm." 490 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,400 I thought you'd be That guy-- 491 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,269 Oh, come on, man. That won't work. 492 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,571 You're trying to lay A guilt trip on me, And I think that stinks. 493 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,439 Fine, I'm outta here. I'm gone for good. 494 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,740 Hey, you better mean it, 'cause I don't want you 495 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:08,908 Coming back In here tomorrow 496 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,009 Thinking this whole Thing's gonna blow over. 497 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,911 Uh-huh. 498 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,546 Yeah, as a matter Of fact, hey, listen, 499 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,282 You go out that door, 500 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,716 I don't want you Back in my bar again. I mean it. 501 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:17,984 Ok, fine. You got it. 502 00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,589 But before I go, 503 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,424 I've got to settle One thing with that man. 504 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:25,925 Norman, now, wait. 505 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,927 Don't do anything Silly, please. 506 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,262 Diane, you'd better Stay out of this. 507 00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:32,365 This is part of the male Ritual that you don't Know anything about. 508 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,269 Coming in, malone! 509 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,804 Ok, norm, how do you Want to do this? 510 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,575 I don't Want to go, sam. 511 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:45,278 [sobbing] 512 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:46,746 Oh, hey. Hey, come on. 513 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,047 I didn't mean-- 514 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,383 Aah! 515 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,754 Hey, hey, hey. 516 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:57,457 Come on. Come on. Listen. Listen. 517 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,459 We're not gonna Get anywhere 518 00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,761 Unless you start acting Like an adult here, 519 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,596 Big fella. 520 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,432 Come on. 521 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:06,899 [indistinct] 522 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:11,471 Whoa. 523 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,039 Here. Here. Here. 524 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:24,784 This bar Is all I have, sam. 525 00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:26,886 You people Are my family. 526 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,491 You're my brother. 527 00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,960 Oh, well, you're My brother, too, norm. 528 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,433 Oh, sam... 529 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:56,649 Norm, hey, You're my accountant. 530 00:21:58,685 --> 00:21:59,986 You mean it, sam? 531 00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,088 Right after This tax season. 532 00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,526 I'll take it, 533 00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:07,994 But I don't Want to beg. 534 00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,095 No, no. 535 00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:15,368 So as we see, the roots Of physical aggression 536 00:22:15,402 --> 00:22:17,036 In the male Of the species 537 00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:21,040 Is found right here In the old dna Molecule itself. 538 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:25,712 Right up here At about 1:00, As I recall. 539 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:27,714 Fascinating, cliff. 540 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,716 Oh, yes, diane. Fascinating. 541 00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,017 Hold onto your hat, too, 542 00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:33,720 Because the very Letters "Dna" 543 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,855 Are an acronym For the words 544 00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:38,491 "Dames are not Aggressive." 545 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:45,732 They stand for Deoxyribonucleic acid. 546 00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:48,735 Yes, but parse that In the latin declension, 547 00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,670 And my point is still moot. 548 00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:55,908 You know, cliff, 549 00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:58,044 If it's true that A little knowledge Is dangerous, 550 00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:00,046 You are a walking Time bomb. 551 00:23:00,079 --> 00:23:02,749 Oh. Thank you, diane. 552 00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:05,852 Let's talk about The gas turbine engine For a while. 553 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,522 Coach! 554 00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:13,426 Coach, buy My buddy a beer, Will ya? 555 00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:14,393 Coming up. 556 00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:16,896 Oh, so you didn't resort To physical violence. 557 00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:18,598 Nope. As a matter Of fact, 558 00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:20,800 I want you all To meet my new Accountant. 559 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:23,069 Yay! All right, norm! 560 00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:25,438 Congratulations, normie. 561 00:23:25,472 --> 00:23:28,074 As it turns out, I've been with The wrong guy 562 00:23:28,107 --> 00:23:29,942 For the last 10 years. 563 00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:31,578 Thanks, sam. 564 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:33,546 Thank you, norm. 565 00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:39,786 Well, this is such A beautiful moment 566 00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:41,621 Seeing you two friends Reconciled, 567 00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:43,590 I could almost cry. 568 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:44,657 Girls. 569 00:23:44,691 --> 00:23:44,757 Yeah, boy.